Harper wondering WTF is Rob Ford thinking?

For Immediate Release

By: Emery Chong

Harper Ford

According to inside sources Stephen Harper is mad at Rob Ford.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s crack pipe scandal wasn’t enough to shake his metropolitan supporters. But his recent admission that he smoked “a lot of pot” has long serving conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper wondering “wtf am I gonna do with this guy”?

Although not a federal politician, Rob Ford and Prime Minister Harper are natural allies, until recently.

“I can’t have a Conservative running around doing bongs and crack,” Mr. Harper recently told himself while practicing the piano. “Just steal some money like the rest of us.”

The Prime Minister continues to face additional hurdles to being re-elected in 2015. On top of the senate scandal and gross incompetence on matters relating to criminal justice, immigration, the environment and well, just about everything, Stephen Harper now faces a country that is growing increasingly tired of the war on drugs.

“Criminalizing people who like to get high and have a bit of fun has always been one of Mr. Harper’s favourite pastimes,” noted longtime Harper admirer and Canadian citizen, Pierre Poutine. “Rob Ford seriously screwed that up.”

Pamela Wallin, embroiled in the senate scandal, is outraged at the relative ease with which Ford is getting away with his crimes.

“I stole a lot of money,” she recently said somewhere, according to some source. “I mean, like a whole sh**load of cash. But I don’t hang out with gangsters and hippies. And somehow I’m the one the RCMP is after. BullSH**!”

Her comments have not gone unheard. A recent poll by a firm that does that sort of thing found that almost 3% of Canadians agree that stealing should be perfectly legal, while only 81% think a criminal record for recreational drug use doesn’t make any sense.

Interestingly, another poll found that 7.8% percent of people polled actually believe Rob Ford is either Stephen Harper in disguise or a giant panda bear escaped from China.

Only time will tell.

Source: Potato Press NPC: August 2013

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Comment (0)
John / September 5, 2013

I was really considering using your company for my pardon. This stupid article isn’t something I really want to see from a company that I would be entrusting with hundreds of dollars of my money. It makes it seem as though you people are children.

Michael Ashby / September 5, 2013

Hi John,

It’s just a satire piece. But I understand your concern. The reason we posted it is that we’ve spent several years fighting Stephen Harper and his crime legislation. And considering his stance on leglalizing marijuana the fact that a Conservative politician like Rob Ford openly admits to using it is worth pointing out.

It’s meant to be humorous only. If you go another route I understand.

Kind regards,


Dave / September 6, 2013

I agree with John regarding the “satirical” article.

I really don’t need satire from professionals who are being paid to represent my interests; I require facts and, well, professionalism.

Looking at the pictures of your staff though, I wonder if the company is not made up of articling students.

Michael Ashby / September 6, 2013

Hi Dave,

Thank you for your comment. One of the reasons we decided to post that article was to generate discussion. While I think the discussion should be about Stephen Harper and his misguided crime policy, in addition to the Conservative government’s archaic position on marijuana and the drug war in general, your point is taken. I am just surprised that the theft of hundreds of thousands of dollars in public funds as well as the mayor of Toronto’s largest city being a convicted drug user as well an accused crack addict isn’t more of a concern than whether or not I post something moderately offensive on this blog.

As for the comment about the photos of my staff I don’t appreciate it. However, you may have a point. My own picture is now more than 10 years old and it is probably time to update it.

BTW, you will not find another pardon service company that provides the contact details of each and every staff member, let alone a photo of the entire team. We are going for transparency because we run a very good company that is open and honest and will not take your money and run. There are several out there that don’t operate the way we do.

The blog is mostly factual and it is full of honest, up to date and valuable information that you will not find with most of the other companies out there. But every now and then I like to put something in that is fun, controversial or, frankly, total irrelevant to pardons and waivers and fingerprinting. If that isn’t for you I understand.

Best Regards,

Michael Ashby

Tom / September 7, 2013

I disagree with John/Dave’s perspective. From what I can see, they made a subjective opinion about the staff.

I do not see the staff as articling students. What I do see is a team of professionals with various levels of experiences, some are juniors, some are seniors. . Each senior staff started off as a junior, no? Why not give a chance to these ‘students’ to learn and contribute?

Just as the justice system gives ‘criminals’ a chance to start anew? If I use your logic, I would think twice about issuing you a record suspension.

BTW, I`m in no way connected to nationalpardon.

Michael Ashby / September 9, 2013

Thanks for the support Tom. The pictures are meant to show transparency, interestingly enough it’s a clear contrast to our current government’s approach to politics. There are more than a few crooks in this business, which is ironic enough, and we want people to feel comfortable using our services. Since most can’t visit us in person the photos are the next best thing.

514.842.2411 x 227

Tom / September 7, 2013

JohnéDave: I find posting pictures of the staff shows commitment to the cause, sends a clear message to the reader that `we are here to help`. It could be extremely dangerous especially if you deal with `criminals`all day.


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