Harper wondering WTF is Rob Ford thinking?
For Immediate Release
By: Emery Chong
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s crack pipe scandal wasn’t enough to shake his metropolitan supporters. But his recent admission that he smoked â€œa lot of potâ€ has long serving conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper wondering “wtf am I gonna do with this guy”?
Although not a federal politician, Rob Ford and Prime Minister Harper are natural allies, until recently.
â€œI can’t have a Conservative running around doing bongs and crack,â€ Mr. Harper recently told himself while practicing the piano. â€œJust steal some money like the rest of us.â€
The Prime Minister continues to face additional hurdles to being re-elected in 2015. On top of the senate scandal and gross incompetence on matters relating to criminal justice, immigration, the environment and well, just about everything, Stephen Harper now faces a country that is growing increasingly tired of the war on drugs.
â€œCriminalizing people who like to get high and have a bit of fun has always been one of Mr. Harper’s favourite pastimes,â€ noted longtime Harper admirer and Canadian citizen, Pierre Poutine. â€œRob Ford seriously screwed that up.â€
Pamela Wallin, embroiled in the senate scandal, is outraged at the relative ease with which Ford is getting away with his crimes.
â€œI stole a lot of money,â€ she recently said somewhere, according to some source. â€œI mean, like a whole sh**load of cash. But I don’t hang out with gangsters and hippies. And somehow I’m the one the RCMP is after. BullSH**!â€
Her comments have not gone unheard. A recent poll by a firm that does that sort of thing found that almost 3% of Canadians agree that stealing should be perfectly legal, while only 81% think a criminal record for recreational drug use doesn’t make any sense.
Interestingly, another poll found that 7.8% percent of people polled actuallyÂ believe Rob Ford is either Stephen Harper in disguise or a giant panda bear escaped from China.
Only time will tell.
Source: Potato Press NPC: August 2013
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