Too drunk to drive? Don’t do this.
Do you have a breathalyser in your car? Because apparently its possible to start your car even while intoxicated.
Take the case of a situation that occurred with a Navy Enlisted Petty Officer. The accused apparently left a bar too drunk to get the car to start, since it was equipped with a breathalyser device. But did this stop the man? No, and why should it? He decided to capture a raccoon and force the poor animal to blow into the machine by squeezing its stomach. And guess what? It worked.
Anyway this is one of the better drinking and driving stories I ever heard, probably because most drinking and driving stories end up with someone being arrested or hurt or worse.
And it doesn’t even matter that it probably isn’t true. The image of a drunken sailor squeezing a raccoon to make his car start has a certain absurd level of genius to it.